Daring to disobey
Have you ever asked a question so sure about the answer that you already knew what you were going to be doing before you ever asked the question? Then when you get the answer you’re so bent on going with your way that you find yourself denying the fact that you even got the answer that you got?
Background: I’ve been reading through first and second Samuel, don’t know exactly what lead me to it, but I got to a point in my life where I knew I needed to be reading the bible every day… Opened it up and found myself ensnared by the life of my now very good friend David. David reminds me so much of myself that I hate to put the book down, you want to get to know me, know my flaws that no one ever sees? Read through the books of Samuel. David was awesome, even before he was king of Israel, as a young man not even old enough for a drivers license he went to meet his brothers on the battlefield where the Israel army was terrified of a single man… David looks at this man standing nine feet tall wearing all bronze armour and says “My God will destroy you for taunting these men, and not only that but after he uses me to kill you I’ll cut your head off with your own sword and leave your body to be eaten by the birds.” This was a horrible curse for them, since the Philistines believed that a body unburied or unburnt would never make it to the after life. But David isn’t all talk, he doesn’t just threaten this man three times his size he goes and accomplishes what he said he’d do, then he totes this guys head around to every city of Israel showing everyone what he did… yeah… that’s the part most of the kiddie stories of David and Goliath leave off… While reading through these stories it often talks about David calling for the “holy vest” going off away from everyone else and praying about what should be done in a particular situation. I didn’t think very much about it, but my Bible has these random (and believe me, they’re random) excerpts where it decides to explain historically what something means. Well the “Holy Vest” wasn’t much of anything special simply a nice vest type covering that contained a pocket… it was what was within this pocket that was special… sort of. The pocket contained a smooth rock that had stuff written in Hebrew on both sides. When someone had a hard decision to make they’d pray about it for long periods of time wearing this vest and when they felt their heart was in line with God’s they’d throw this rock in the air and let it land showing them what God’s answer was to their question. The ancient Hebrews believed that God could control the way this rock landed and that is why they would often use this method. I like David a lot, so if it’s good enough for David, it is good enough for me dagnabit!!
Story: For the last month I said that I’d run my business until I was out of money, or close to. Well I’m not really at that point quite yet, but I’m also not really making money. So for the last week or so I started asking the question should I find another job to go to get this stupid credit card paid off, and all this other crap that would be nice to get taken care of. Answer I got: yes. Cool, I’ve got two good opportunities 1) what I like to call the easy way Taco Bell simply because they’re in desperate need of help, and Tiana works there so I know I could get a job and 2) Nebraska Furniture Mart a little more of a stretch, but more money with starting pay of $11.50 an hour. The question this time was should I seek either of these jobs? no? uh… well… we’ll try this individually (since I was SOOO sure it should be one of them) nope… alrighty… well whatever I did say that I would wait until I needed to get a job before I did and just for funs sake I asked if I should continue with Archmaille Designs: yes. IF I NEED TO BE CONTINUING WITH THIS THING WHY IS IT SO DISCOURAGING TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING? Oh I get some amazing stuff acomplished, things that I’m rather proud of (new website design, new equipment that reduces production time in half, and I’m getting stuff made like crazy), yet no one is buying ANYTHING!!! Fine… we’ll let that one go, for now. Moving on from that there are also a couple of girls who’ve been awesome lately… and I’m starting to like ‘em ya know? So the question this time pursue any of them: no… uh… ok, this is a test, right, I’m supposed to wait a little longer (Neo kind of thing where the Oracle tells him he’s not the one so that he makes the correct choice at being “the one”). So I ask about worrying about dating them individually… no… right, this isn’t God’s answer, the coin is just broken!! As many of you know it’s not an exact 50/50 chance that a quarter will land heads/tails it will land tails more often because the heads side of a quarter is heavier… so I get another coin (and not just another quarter a penny this time, more evenly balanced… then a dime… and a nickle… for good measure)… you know what? THEY’RE ALL BROKEN! So I find myself sitting here saying “alright, so my money is dwindling, you’re not sending me any amazing opportunities that are working for making money, and even though I’ve got two great opportunities for other jobs you don’t want me to take them. After not dating anyone for two… er… three? Guess it must be two years now you send this beautiful girl into my life who’s awesome and kinda flirting with me… but I’m not supposed to worry about dating her… or pursue any kind of relationship with her… ok… so what’s next on the agenda?”