Worth Dying for
“It was not that they had no right to take you, it was how they asked.”
“They had a right to take me.”
“And so do I.”
At that point Balian didn’t understand why his life was worth the life of four skilled warriors, and many others who were only upholding the law by hunting him. If you’ve not noticed Kindom of Heaven is one of my most favoritist movies of all time. Have you ever found yourself in the same situation as Balian at that point in time? Looking for an escape, any escape he found himself on a journey that would bring him to leading an entire nation of people to victory against impossible odds. In his mind Balian was worth nothing, he had very little knowledge to make him a skilled fighter, he had no knowledge of the land he was traveling to, and being an illegitimate child he had been shunned all of his life. After losing his wife I’m sure he knew there was nothing left for him, especially with his priest telling him that God did not love him. But “If God does not love you how could you have accomplished so much?” as was questioned him at the end of the movie.
My question to you is: what is your worth? Do you believe that your life is worth the death of others? Are you the kind of person that your friends would lay down their lives for you? Would you do the same for them? My first reaction to those who would say that their life is worth the death of others would be to think “what an arrogant prick!” then I think about it… and at least those people are honest. I certainly live my life as though my high and mighty ways are so much more important than so many others. I also live in a way that spits in the face of one who did lay down His life so that I may truly live. The thing that I like so much about Balian and his story is that he recognized the sacrifice his father made for him. He realized that his father was in a position of authority, but he gave it up so that he might make amends with his son, so that his son might make a life, and have a living with even a little more importance. A little more power. A little more strength than he was currently portraying. You see being separated from his father Balian was at a loss, and had very little control over his circumstances, but with the authority from his father a new life could be blossomed within him. See any parallels yet?
Often I sit back looking at my life saying “why in the world would anyone give up their life for me?” In all honesty I’m nothing special. I am only an ordinary man, with ordinary skills… being called to extraordinary circumstances. Too often I live my life in a way that says that I was not worth the sacrifice God made for me. By saying that I am not worth the sacrifice, I end up doing nothing, hoping that God would find someone else, someone more worth of such a high calling. Today as it has before, this concept hit me as arrogance. My Lord has given up his life so that I might find mine, and yet I don’t honor him with my lifestyle because of my own prideful sense of inadequacies. Balian didn’t feel that he was good enough for the job that his father left for him, yet he still did it because of the sacrifice that his father had made for him. If even an insignificant blacksmith can be used to ward off the armies of the enemy, protecting those that surrounded him, why can’t we do what our Lord has called us to do? Maybe we’re stronger than we believe ourselves to be. Maybe we’re smarter than we believe ourselves to be. Maybe those around us only plant discouraging thoughts because they too are afraid. Maybe we can change all of that. Maybe we can live our lives the way our Father has intended us to. Maybe God never abandoned us, and it was only the world that let us down. Maybe you are worth dying for.