Drunken CoH
Generally I only drink like once every 3 months or so… which isn’t any different from this time. The real difference is that I was distracted while drinking. Oddly enough… that’s exactly what I needed right now. Had I been paying attention I wouldn’t of let it go so far, generally I drink to intensify life, when things aren’t insane enough I’ll do like 4 shots in the time span of an hour and a half which gets me buzzed and keeps me that way for a couple hours. Usually sends both my mind and my body over the edge so that I feel everything to 1000% intensity and must either brake, or rise to the occasion. Jordan and I were playing some Company of Heroes after work… both have had a rough time lately and so his idea was that we should play a drinking game while playing… being that I can’t even take so much as a sip of beer without vomiting that wasn’t gonna work. So he drank the beer I got jack and coke. Started off with a shot to get the buzz started, then was sipping on probably 8oz of jack, and a can of coke. Normally I’m great about moderating my drinking. I know the exact point to stop, and I can feel exactly when I start fading and need a booster if I need the intense emotional state for a little longer. Problem is I was playing a game that when sober takes perfect concentration…. drunk it’s dang near impossible. Trying my best to concentrate on the task at hand all I noticed was how much I was slowing down, but kept sipping away at my drink until it was gone in about an hour and a half or so. It was pretty obvious that I wasn’t exactly sober when to start the game I went to build a set of engineers and missed clicking the correct button 6 times in a row (alright, it’s not as bad as you guys think. Most of you are using trackball mice, which are horrifically slow. The rest are using optical mice which have a 400 dots per inch resolution on average… my mouse is a laser precision gaming mouse with 2000dpi resolution so it’s literally 5x faster than a normal mouse). After finally winning the excruciatingly long game I stood up to realize that I was way more gone than I had ever been before. I also found that instead of intensifying my emotions… they were gone, euphoria the only thing left. It was nice… A little gift you might say, after several weeks of battle, I was trying to push myself to the breaking point just to have the pride in myself that I was not only able to make it, but I survived… instead I got relief… not exactly what I was looking for, but exactly what I needed. It’s nice when God presents us with these little gifts in life, as it says in the bible all things good and beautiful are of the Lord… and also quoting my buddy Benjamin Franklin “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” 