ROE
You know what’s funny… I’ve only had two people say anything to me, or even attempt to comfort me in some way. One being Joanna who’s just some random person I met online… a really cool Christian girl that I met from MyYearbook (which is surprising in itself being that MyYearbook is quite possibly one of the worst sites I’ve ever seen in terms of blatant sexual usage, which is actually encouraged by the admins.) The other from Pastor Jesse who I had sought counsel from on the situation with Jessica. I’d like to talk with some other people… but I guess I’ve not really given any details therefore can’t expect anyone to know that I need someone to listen to me.
You know… I keep coming on here intending to say what happened and how I’m feeling… every time I get on here I feel different. Sometimes I’m fine…. other times I’m so desperate for anything that I just want to be sitting in front of Jessica so we can talk about things. What I think happened between me and Jessica is that I got too overbearing… I tend to do that. I get clingy and possessive and push people away.  I don’t really know what happened because she’s not even talked to me for the last couple of weeks. I was ready to let her go… then Aimee responds to my bulletin on MySpace and gives me a glimpse of hope… if you guys know anything about me a glimpse of hope is hope indeed. I know that our relationship was a total God thing… whether we’re supposed to be together, or if it was just a learning experience (because believe me I could learn a lot from Jessica) I don’t know. What I do know is that I need to learn to put God first in my life… I have the tendency to follow in Adam’s footsteps and choose Eve over God… Which isn’t fair to the people I date just as much as it isn’t right towards God… That was another major reason why I wasn’t even looking for a relationship before Jessica… I think I just need to let her go… if nothing else leave her alone until she wants to talk (if that day ever comes).
Oh yeah, the point to this was that I need someone to talk to… about anything… Just something.