What I learned from Jessica
I’m sure you guys are tired of hearing about her by now… and I don’t blame you… We only went out for a month and a half, and honestly there was a lot that I should of seen as potentially dangerous… that I did see but chose to ignore. The reason I’m writing this blog, even though I told myself I wouldn’t talk about her anymore is because I don’t believe that I’ve failed at anything in life… and I don’t plan on starting now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve messed up before and “failed” in the worlds eyes, but as I see it as long as you learn something from your experience you’ve not failed. Anyways, on to the list:
1) I’m a very selfish person - this is one of the first things I noticed, almost instantly when I started dating Jessica… and I’ve really not done much of anything that wasn’t for me, or that didn’t benefit me in some manor. Â Definitely something I’ve got to work on, I’d like to think I’m cured of this, but seeing the problem and admitting it is really only the first step 
2) I want kids - maybe not right now… but I do want kids. I always wondered how I would handle kids because I really don’t have much patience for other humans (over abundance of patience for metal work, and other artistic crafts, just none for humans), but I think I handle kids well… they really are a joy.
3) I’m a lot weaker towards the female gender than I ever imagined - When I’m in a relationship I really do depend more on the affirmation, opinion, and acceptance of that person more so than anything else… which is very bad!!! Now that I do know it however I’ve been praying about it, and intentionally turning away from pretty girls to take the time and pray to choose God first…
Those really are the biggest 3 things that I learned… or at least have noticed that I learned so far.  One thing I have to say (because I know you’re going to read this) partly because of number 3 I’ve got to watch myself. One of the reasons I’m feeling much, much better right now is because of an awesome Christian girl who took the time to talk to me and I can’t help myself but like her. Joanna talked to me all day yesterday and made me feel a ton better… but I’ve got to watch it and make sure that I get things straight with God before I start falling for and flirting with some other girl. Not to mention I have a tendency to like the idea of a “safe” relationship and 22k km between us makes it safe 
or however far it was.