Cody

I heard a story recently.  Can’t for the life of me remember where I heard it, think it might of been at church on Sunday, but my days are so messed up anymore working nights and only having one day off at a time (that I sleep through most of) doesn’t seem to have any sort of break for the week.  Anyways, the story was about a missionary from a time long ago who was sailing with a crew of unbelievers.  They found themselves stuck off of the coast of Africa outside an area notorious for the cannibalistic tribe that lived near by.  As the ship sat in the water without any sort of wind to propel them they drifted slowly towards the coast, where they could see people beginning to line up awaiting their new “guests” with baited breath (quite literally).  The captain ran to the lower deck and entered the room of the missionary, begging him to pray for wind.  The missionary refused, telling the captain that he would not pray for wind until the ships sails were unfurled.  Reluctantly the captain had his crew unfurl the sails and prepare to set out to sea then came back to the missionary who he asked again to pray for wind.  Minutes later the captain came back to the missionary to check on him, asking if he was praying for wind… the missionary said that he was.  The ships captain told him that he had better stop, for they had more wind than they could handle.  Right now, I feel like the captain… in the fact that I know God can do it, I want him to, I know that it will be miraculous, something inexplicable without the use of God’s name.  The problem is I don’t want to work for it… oh sure I don’t mind working once it comes… but actually working before I see the results?  Are you kidding me?

As has been the theme of my blog for the last few months (minus a slight derailment in my life) I truly feel God is calling me to be a missionary so to speak to the Ren. Faire crew of people (who are mostly Wiccan, or pagan) through my work as a blacksmith, and chainmail jeweler.   I just love that crowd of people though, it’s the group of people that never want to leave the theatre, so they make life their stage.  Truly being a Thespian myself I’ve never seen so many Thespians as you will at the Ren. Faire’s.  They really are a funny group of people though, last summer at the St. Louis Ren. Faire with Tiana and her family several girls were coming up to her with inquiries like “Who’s your friend?  He’s kind of cute.”  to which all Tiana had to reply to get them to not pester me was say “He’s a Christian, he’s a Republican, his name is Cody by the way.”  which turned all of them away… sometimes I feel like the black sheep around them… but it’s good because despite the difference they don’t shun me because I’m accepting of them.  I’ve watched other Christians come in and try to force their religion on them, or tell them how things should be… and they will rip them apart.  They exclude me from such bashings because I don’t believe in the religious aspects of Christianity, nor do I push them on anyone else, as Godfrey’s religious adviser said to Balian “I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here [points to head] and here [points to heart] and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not.”  Christianity is not a religion, so much as it should be a relationship.

Anyways… haha yes much rambling, and rabbit trails in the mind of Cody as of late.  You guys know (or if you read this regularly you do) that going on my bike trip was part of my great revelation to run my business, allow God to take care of me with complete trust and admiration that he would not abandon me, nor give me something that I could not complete.  Moving into the house here with Jordan and Zack puts stress on my finances… obviously.  Which I’ve been there before, and not minded one bit, I can take a little bit of pressure.  However when there are two other people involved you can’t be playing games… even if they are religious games.  So with what I thought was wisdom from an older Christian guy who said that it was unfortunate that artists cannot make a living from their art I went ahead and went with Jordan to get a job at Target working nights… And you know what?  God still hasn’t “blessed” my business with amazing miraculous inexplicable sales or anything like that.  The problem I think, is that the faith is there… there is no doubt that I have faith in God taking care of me… there is no doubt that I have faith in God leading my business to the next level… the problem is the action.  Faith without action is useless.  So I think we’re going to go at this again… with a bit of a different approach.  It’s a scary thought however… With this job (or one at LifeTouch) I make $800 more per month than I absolutely NEED to survive on.  So I get stuck on the money thing… my mind goes “With that money you could have a forge, anvil, and everything you need to start blacksmithing by this summer”  “With that money you could visit Joanna in a couple of months”  “That money is steady and guaranteed for a minimum of effort and you won’t have to worry about your bills”  Do you notice a trend with those statements though?  Shortcut, shortcut, and shortcut… God doesn’t take any shortcuts… nor do I think they’re right in any way, with anything you do.  So the question is… do I quit my job and sound like a crazy person when I tell my cousins that I quit my job because God told me to?  But gain back my soul, and peace of mind.  Or do I stick with it a little bit longer to fulfill those shortcuts before taking faithful action?  And lose my soul, and all sense of peace in the process.  When you look at it that way it’s a simple decision… but I’ve had to train myself over years, and years to see things that way…. because in all honesty it’s only a minor compromise.  Technically I’m still doing what I believe is God’s will (going to see Joanna, and taking up blacksmithing)… the problem is that it involves no trust, or faith in God.  It’s as if I’m saying “Sure thing God, I’ll do exactly as you say, everything is for you… I’m just going to do it my way because your way seems scary and dangerous… even though I’m sure there are many lessons that I must learn from doing things you way, and doing things my way will skip me over those lessons and leave me unprepared when I reach the point of doing things as you designed… I like safety and comfort a lot.”

Ok, so you guys can see I’ve got a decision to make… I’ve been putting it off, and I don’t want to… I’m just addicted to safety and comfort… and it’s a hard addiction to break… so if you guys are willing to pray for me, maybe some words of encouragement.